The Habitual ‘I’m Sorry’

I’ve identified an area in my life in definite need of improvement, it all has something to do with what I call the habitual “I’m Sorry.” So here’s the deal, the habitual I’m Sorry is only ever directed at friends and usually just good friends. Its all because I take everything just one step to far, whether it be the joking yet snide remarks or the brutal honesty offer even though my opinion was never asked. I am not really sure what kind of effect if any my remarks have but it usually only takes a couple of hrs before I feel the need to offer my habitual apology for what I have said. I just hate thinking back on a night or a conversation and thinking, “wow, did I say anything kind or sincere?” Thus far my solution has just been to say sorry, acknowledging that how I acted was wrong and suggesting that in the future I would be a bit more kind. But see really it was just an easy out because come next time I would fall back into my trap of looking for an easy laugh and would just be mean all over again. And so I know the habitual “I’m Sorry” has to stop because after all if I was really sorry and really had the desire to change well then the I’m sorry’s would not be nearly as frequent or causally done. Can I call it a New Years resolution? Well I could but I’d rather not, yes its something I’ll be working on but would like to spear the title.

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